What do you think about this...
A dear friend of mine, a reborn again Christian, asked me to watch his 2 younger sons this weekend. He wants to attend his highschool reunion with his wife out of town.
His middle son is 22 and his youngest, sixteen. They are good kids... into sports and playing music and xbox. They like to party, just like their dad liked to party, just like we all have our vices in life. Naturally, he's afraid they'll throw a house party and he'll lose the business he's built over decades because some dode kills three of his best friends in a tragic blood curdling accident, but lives because he wasn't wearing a seatbelt, and has to project the blame on someone to allay his guilt. Letigious society stuff. Makes for a really strained relationship - and I believe I see the root of the issue... more on that in a minute.
Part of my mission is to connect with kids in this sort of situation and help them communicate with their parents so everyone feels heard and understood. By 1.) mediating perspectives and 2.) eliciting core values - the things that REALLY matter in a family - I aim to help the kid get the parents' blessing to take a journeyman adventure and live life wide open. At the same time, I want the parents to feel confident that their child has found a calling that will serve them so they can serve the world. And has a mentor to check in with who they all individually trust.
What would I prescribe for this 22 year old? Travel. Get out and do a mission trip. See the world, get perspective, serve until it hurts... see what you're made of.
Or it could look like $1000 and a prayer - send him to be a snow bum...
Or outward bound educator training - a great vocation.
Can his parents relate? I think they can. I'm not sure where the breakdown in communication is happening. What I do see is how much alike this 22 year old son and I are. I see the dynamics of his familly constellation from within and without. It's possible all the therapists and counseling sessions missed the critical issues. They missed the root cause of all the symptoms causing the tribulations -
These boys haven't found a foothold for launching into a purposeful life with confidence and vision.
My mission is to be a surrogate to these kids who have so much potential and help them really launch into their adult lives full of heart and passion, within a context of clear moral vision.
How do I do that?
Stay tuned for more...
Craig
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