From Running With The Wolves to Holding Them At Bay...

What is a father?

Part of being a father, for me, is knowing where to draw boundaries. 

Boundaries for Corrina, but more importantly, boundaries for myself. Because so much of her development is influenced by what I model with my own behavior. What I reverberate, she picks up and learns to transmit. 

Shadow included. (gulp)

The rate at which a person can mature is directly proportional to the embarrassment he can tolerate. ~Douglas Engelbart

Now, there’s a part of me will always be a 22 year old. Like Huck Finn on Dead Tour, deep down, I’ll always have a desire to hit the road and explore the world. Especially with friends.

Last weekend, Corrina & I went camping in Ithaca (rated one of the top 10 places in the world to drop out of “society” by Outsider magazine). It was perfect weather, and we were totally in the flow - the kind of flow that only happens on road trips!

My friend Teresa and her daughter Corina shared the adventure with us.  We made a weekend of waterfall walking, gourmet hippie cuisine - it’s great to see the girls trying things they’ve never had before, and loving them! -  swimming, blackberry picking, hiking, crystals & best friend pendants and a dozen silver dollar sized, vegan pancakes down by the river with baby ducks to feed... it was heaven.

A strong man and a waterfall always channel their own path. ~Anonymous

The waterfall walking was, by far, my favorite part. The 3/4 mile hike through the gorge is magnificent. Shale walls forever crumble inward toward the limestone creek-bed. All along the way there were small waterfalls where the girls would wash and “recharge” their new amethyst crystals - a gift from Teresa.

We reached Toughanock Falls at dusk, after everyone else had shied away. 

A “Do Not Enter” sign hung from the foot-bridge 50 yards from the plummeting water. 

We decided to brave it, taking responsibility for our choices. 

Corrina and I often talk about the paradoxical “Circle of Freedom and Responsibility” and how making good choices, even when difficult, will get her more freedom - with me, and in life.

I hung back with the girls, while Teresa ventured right up to the 200-foot falls with the kids’ crystals - named Shimmer & Shine - in her pocket. She came back drenched! We all had a good time. 

The next day, leaving town, we stopped by the lower falls. A few brave souls were leaping from the 30-35 foot drop of limestone. I got it in my mind to try that. 

“Don’t Die Wondering" has been my motto for some time, now. And it's served me well... to a point.

Naturally, Corrina protested. I told her I ‘heard’ her and motioned to move on with our adventure. We skipped some excellent shale stones on the shore as the jumpers waded to our end of the pool to exit. Corrina reiterated her fear and I hugged her and told her I heard her. Of course, I’m not all punch and pie... the third or fourth time she brought it up I shut her down, told her I had heard her and that I would get angry if she brought it up again.

What is uttered from the heart alone, Will win the hearts of others to your own. ~Johann Wolfgang von Goethe 

We all got in the water - fully clothed - planning to change back at the car. I decided I was gonna teach Corrina a lesson in physics (there’s magic in ledge-jumping... you land further forward than your mind can project since you aren’t used to the additional 20-30 feet of drop) and in “feeling the fear and doing it anyway.” 

Since it was right there in front of me I began my ascent, climbing up the pile of falling water over majestic, mossy boulders of the lower falls. Every step and finger-hold was blessed by some magical intuition that I wouldn’t fall and die (this was a harrowing mindfulness practice).

At the top I thanked the terra firma and reflected on the day prior, where we had followed the riverbed to the source. I thought about my Source, and I thought about my death. Jumping from heights is not something I do often. Ever, really. Not once, actually, have I ever jumped from heights above 6-7 feet. 

In fact, I’m terrified of heights. Not fear that I will fall... but that I will jump. So this seemed like the right thing to do. Face my death. Cuz I’m a spiritual warrior... and shit...

An error doesn't become a mistake until you refuse to correct it. ~JFK

So, I peered over the edge of the drop-off. The girls were on the shore opposite me, camera in hand. I turned to the source and I closed my eyes, stood tall, stretching in the sun, and considered the man I’ve been up to that point. Then I felt into my back-body and I thought of my impending “death” and the man I would be, walking up onto that shore. Proving to my frightened little girl that I’m a man, I tackle challenges like they’re munchkins, or face a part of myself that other kids’ fathers won’t face... I wondered what new pattern this would kick-off for me as a father, as a man. It got me pumped, so I turned to face death.

I walked down to the place everyone had jumped from, and peered over the edge looking for the right place to land. Corrina had turned away. She sat sulking on a stone, facing the other direction. It made me sad that she might miss my moment of raging glory, tearing through the veil of fear, seeing into the heart of my own masculinity... 

Taking some practice steps I got a feel for the leaping energy I would have to push with when I left the rock ledge to pencil dive into the bardo, only to arise, baptized into some new life. Honestly, I live for this. If I don’t have a breakthrough experience a few times a year I go stir-crazy inside my soul.

So, there it was... my moment of departure. Camera girl giving me a thumbs up. Teresa arrived from below to see me off. I rocked back and forth, dialing up my adrenaline, revving my testosterone, thinking how smart I was for not just exploding my circuits, but workin up to it...

And there’s Corrina looking up at me, shoulders slumped forward, pouty lips and a fluttering heart...

Everything was lined up. My trajectory was plotted. I was tuning into my intuition, feeling whether I needed to be cocked a little more this way or that... I was just gonna trust it. Trust myself. When I felt like it was right, I’d let my gut carry me into the fleeting moment of abyss, sweep me into my next life-time. My next incarnation...

And Corrina.

Thoughts bucked through my mind. “It’s scary, yes, but I know I can push myself through my fear.” “I can always come back and do it with my buddies.” “If I don’t do this, what will it say about me?” “No, I have to do it! I said I was gonna do it, and here I go... dammit!”

I felt into my heart. My intuition slowed me down. I followed it. I did what I felt. 

I sat down.

Don't be reckless with other people's hearts, don't put up with those who are reckless with yours. ~Mary Schmich

After a few minutes Teresa sits next to me and, like the incredibly powerful woman she is, puts words to what I’m realizing for the first time in my life. By letting Corrina know her heart is more important to me than my transient adventures and epiphanies, however spiritual they may seem, I’m setting a pattern in motion in her that will alter the course of her life.

And mine. 

When I got to the bottom of the rock formation Corrina was waiting for me on the other side of the stream. 

We met in the middle and she held me in an extra-long, extra-silent hug.

The man I became... was not the man I had expected. 

Follow the child. ~Maria Montessori

I’m so grateful or these teaching moments. Children have a way of teaching that eludes me, until it’s upon me. My own Circle of Freedom and Responsibility got turned on its head. 

I didn’t know what to do, so I wrote this post to share.

Actually, finishing up this post a week later, I’m still a bit shaken up by the experience. If you know the feeling, please chime in. I could really use the support... as I’m sure we all could.

To Your Enlightenment Experience!

Craig

Creator EnlightenedChild.com

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The Lost Generation - Must See Video

My friend Malena Gamboa from We On Earth - http://www.weonearth.org - first showed me this, and it's absolutely brilliant!



Or Click Here to see this brilliant video about the Lost Generation the refuses to accept...

To Your Enlightenment Experience!

Craig

Want a free print of the 'Realized' Buddha collage I made in 1998? Enter your email here: www.enlightenedchild.com

be sure to join our Facebook Fan Page as well!

Does Your Child Know Her Purpose Yet?

It's no joke - we are all born with a purpose, and the schooling system couldn't care less.

Most teachers are just grown up products of the same system and are so deep into it that most teachers either have no idea what their own true purpose in life is (I hardly believe that a teacher would tell you "my purpose is to brainwash hundreds of kids into consumer society drones") or they have no tools for consistently liberating children from this cycle of consumer socialization to a true realization of their inborn purpose. So, the cycle perpetuates itself in mass-unconsciousness.

(pardon me while I go puke out the window...)

One of the most important exercises I've ever done (and I have worked through it dozens and dozens of times over the last decade) is discovering and defining and deciding what my purpose is.

I learned it first from Michael Gerber in the E-Myth Mastery Academy - which is an entrepreneurial coaching program. He understands that, in order for a business to serve the entrepreneur's life, we must begin with what's in our heart first, then build the business around that clarity.

Michael Losier's book on the Law of Attraction walks us through a nearly identical exercise. Tony Robbins, and all the classic success gurus say pretty much the same thing. Seems there's a pattern here:

1.) Write down everything you DON'T want in your life

2.) Use that list to come up with clarity about what you DO want in your life

3.) Boil that down to the essence of who you are and what your life is all about

Why were you born?

10 words or less!

Hold this mantra as a compass. Something you never forget. If I come to your house at 3am and shake you awake and say, "WHAT'S YOUR PURPOSE?!!" you should spit it right out.

Do you have this clarity?

Well, I walked my 8 year old through this same exercise last fall and she came up with a list that's just as legit as anything an adult could conjure up. After all, it doesn't take a PhD to know what you want in life, and if you look a little deeper, to see where those wants are coming from.

Look closely at this picture, you can see her two separate columns...




What did she come up with?

"To love and take care of animals"

Simple.

What's better than that!




So, here's where it comes into play, and the reason I'm inspired to post about this. Last week she demonstrated this on a handful of occasions:

1.) She rescued a baby bird from the playground at school

2.) She rescued a guinea pig that was to be "given a shot that would make him sleep until it was time for him to die"

3.) She rescued a baby chipmunk from the clutches of her cat Stella

4.) She captured a moth and brought it home, set it free in my bedroom and pet it good night by the lamp

5.) She gingerly carried around the snails she captured by the trainyard where we find em

6.) She does research on koalas and other animals at school...

And that's just ONE WEEK!!!

I applaud her for living her purpose and it settles into her psyche that she is fundamentally good and rooted in a core purpose that serves the world and makes her feel whole and complete.

It's an incredible thing.

I highly recommend it.

If you're a teacher or a parent who would like more information on how you can help kids discover their own Purpose in life, please contact me.

After all, my purpose is: To Enlighten the World!

Cheers,

Craig

to see original post and all my social media links, visit: www.enlightenedchild.com

What's the Worst That Can Happen?

I won't deal in cut-throat business environments. There's nothing I want bad enough to tolerate that type of back-stabbing behavior. I can't imagine any good would come of it anyway even if I got what I thought I wanted... seems like it would come back at me with some price far in excess of any joy I felt.

That's not to say I haven't been double-crossed before. In business. In love. Not nearly as bad as it could have been. Sort of like the way I feel about my car accidents - just enough to rattle me and hopefully drive home the lesson.

Robert Ringer says there are three types of ways people will screw you:

1.) Tell you right to your face they're gonna grab all your chips

2.) Tell you they wouldn't dream of taking all your chips then doing it anyway

3.) Tell you they wouldn't dream of taking all your chips then, when it happens anyway, really telling you how bad they feel it worked out that way.

I guess the reason this is on my mind is because I'm contemplating some Joint Ventures (JVs) for my new business with people I have only met on Facebook.

As I approach the possibility of working with people who could easily swipe my idea and run with it, I steel myself with the conviction that the Enlightened Child mentoring component of the new business will make it immune to being ripped off 100 times by marketing sharks. What I aim for instead is a collaborative platform that brings social media experts together and creates a dynamic learning environment between them, their clients, and the mentees.

The mentees are learning marketing through implementing the social media profiles for the clients of my various Social Media Experts.

This way, the Social Media Experts can all offer a personally branded Done-For-You package and the mentees can get a world-class education that is relevant, and actually pays them to learn and achieve according to their interests.

That's the concept for the business that I'm creating to help me transition from a 9-5'er and free up time to write my Enlightened Child book and teach kids all about the wonders of the universe at concerts and other places I travel to.

Maybe there are still people out there who will habitually screw me over. Maybe I still have a lot naivete to get burned out of me. Whatever happens, I feel the Enlightened Child mission will keep marching my feet, keep creating with my hands, keep speaking with my tongue.

Looking at everything in life as a learning experience, I feel very little fear anymore.

What's the worst that can happen?

I'll learn.

Cheers,

Craig

to see original post and all my social media links, visit: www.enlightenedchild.com

Montessori is NOT Self-Help...

Back in college I read a lot of Spiritual and Self-Help type books. I was interested in growing and becoming a better person... or stopping the gnawing existential pain I kicked up in the process.

When I got into Sales I was pleased to discover a culture of personal and professional development. Guys like Zig Ziglar and Jim Rohn were instrumental in helping me ground my mind in this worldly reality and get a grip on who I am becoming as a man. Mentors and friends helped as well. But ultimately it all comes down to experience.

Since I never took a marketing or finance class... EVER... I had to teach myself these things through experience (aka repeated failure). I started businesses and made sales calls and did all the things the gurus said. And I've gotten much better. But something still nags at me... about the potential I have within me that I fear may never see the light of day.

Reading some Maria Montessori this morning (founder of the Montessori schools - AMI) I thought back to my two years as a Montessori kid. They made sense. I grew and understood how I was growing. I engaged in playful mastery of the material and I was recognized as a young, developing soul. It was joyous times.

The chapter I read this morning talked about how to really mess up a child for life. Luckily I spent the rest of my schooling in institutions that read THAT manual and my jaw dropped in astonishment at the aftermath and how it has played out in my life.

When I say Montessori is NOT Self-Help, what I mean is that as I read the chapter and thought about the impact these negative schooling experiences have had on my life, I realized that the next page would not be some treatise or meditation exercise designed to free my soul from the bondage of psychological anguish these naughty naughty institutions have inflicted upon me.

No. There would be no Self-Help epiphany today.

What I see very clearly, though, is a need to assist parents and teachers in honoring the soul of the child and not foisting the habituated traumas we acquired in our own schooling and socialization on our children, but truly "Following the Child" and learning something of our own humanity in their innocence and joy.

Montessori is a recipe for a child who will not need much, if any, self-help work. There will always been an edge to grow to, but the negative feelings that we were saddled with in childhood need not hinder that growth or create mind-boggling challenges that make us say things like, "I'm afraid of success." Something is wrong with a culture that instills fear of completion and the joy of accomplishment in its populous.

What can we do to help our children grow up free from the weeds of the antiquated schooling and socialization process?

Cheers,

Craig

to see original post and all my social media links, visit: www.enlightenedchild.com

The New Puppy Downstairs Keeps Howling!!!

The guy downstairs got an adorable new puppy. Half doberman, half husky. It's howling all the time when he's not around, and I just started working from home!

Here's the thing about dogs. They are born into one social matrix that is very comfortable and familiar to them. Then they are transplanted to a completely foreign situation that they must adapt to in order to thrive as an organism.

If you've been around trained dogs, you know that the master/dog relationship enhances their lives greatly. When a dog is well-trained and it understands how to behave and receive praise from its master it is infinitely happier than a dog who is constantly given shifting expectations and intermittent punishments.

How does this relate to education and children? Well, to a certain degree, I believe raising young children is a lot like training a new puppy. The child has little if any higher reasoning and consistency is the key to all trust in the relationship.


Once we get older, however, we venture into the world. In the world, expectations and rewards are constantly shifting. It's hard to adapt ourselves to that social matrix without latching on to a sub-culture within it that is easier to navigate. Church tells us how to live. Being cool means dressing like this... Like a small harbor where our boats are safe... but that's not what boats were built for.

Listen, I don't know how to get to the point elegantly, so I'm just gonna cut to the chase.

If the world is full of shifting expectations, and it's our responsibility as parents to give our children a quality experience of life - where expectations are not shifting. Where they are safe and they know they can consistently receive love and compassion and sustenance...

How do we prepare them internally to have the fortitude to thrive out there?

Principles.

Teach Principles.

Don't teach them 2+2=4

Teach them what numbers are, how they work, what plus and equals means, drill them on it and let them go about their lives doing math. The principle of numbers, arithmetic don't change just because the world shifts its expectations. Cling fast to principles and teach your children to do the same. Chaos is all about, so be certain the light-houses of truth that you use to guide you are steady and grounded in reality. Teach your children to do the same.

Cheers,

Craig

to see original post and all my social media links, visit: www.enlightenedchild.com

How to Get a Mentor?

It seems counter-intuitive... "Take a Millionaire to Lunch! but HE'S the one with all the money and I'm broke!"

What about the offering of gifts is so irresistible to Mentors?

Narcissism. The Mentoring relationship is more than merely training or teaching. It's probably got roots in some Freudian complex, which none-the-less means there's great power in the relationship.

Mentors are on a path. They have conquered the mountain, or are well on their way to it. They don't have time for nambi-pambi bologna. They want results because the results they are known for is what qualifies them as a potential mentor for you (or your child) in the first place.

WARNING: It's a common fallacy, and a sure set up for disappointment, to project guru status on someone who is expert in their field. This shows up most often in the way they are seen as expert in an omni-potent sense - they know it all... about everything - when really they may be woefully unqualified to mentor you(r child) in any other area. Think starving artist or pervert guru. They have one field of competence nailed - clearly to the detriment of other areas like sustenance and morality. So, just be careful of this.

So, mentors see themselves in the mentee. They won't work with someone in a TRUE mentoring capacity unless they can see the inner nature of the protege as clearly as they see their own hand. Everything else is just passing advice and well-wishing one another on your way. True mentoring is a durable, ongoing relationship that can last decades or lifetimes.

How do you find these potential mentors and then get them to mentor you(r child)?

Good question - because Mentors save you so much time and heartache it's not even funny. Taking a millionaire to lunch could change your life. So, don't hesitate when you see an opportunity to obtain even passing advice. And when you find someone you really feel is right for you - I mean, you've checked each other out in person, learned about what you each want in life, where you're going and how your mentor can help you get there... then you can follow these steps:

The steps for obtaining a mentor, as given to me by a mentor I'm courting:

1.) Identify a burning desire in your heart.

2.) Learn as much as you can about this on your own.

3.) Identify individuals who have gone and done what you envision going and doing.

4.) Approach them and interview them. It's always a mutual interview.

5.) Suggest a mentoring relationship - they may be experienced in this or not.

6.) Tell them you'd like to make a formal offering for them to consider.

7.) Prepare and deliver a package of some sort the represents something meaningful to the atmosphere or relationship dynamic that you are entering in to. Something that the Mentor can consider in the gestalt of his life and how much he is willing and able to commit to this process.

8.) Be on time for meetings, be professional with communications, keep all commitments in a timely fashion, and be generally grateful for all instruction and reflection.

9.) Watch for pathologies that may disrupt or interfere with a True Mentoring Relationship - never abdicate responsibility for your mental and emotional safety to ANYONE. You are your own best protector. Keep your eyes open.

10. Continually obtain new mentors on your journey of life. This will provide a blend of perspectives, and give you a roundtable of reference points to call on when advancing through life's choppy waters. Collect Mentors and keep in touch with them. They truly care about you and want to share your journey. The more you keep in touch, the easier you will find it to call on them even years down the road.

So, this is my run-down on Getting Mentors.

I'm sending a wooden box of natural tobacco to my chosen mentor. If he accepts, I will be heading to Vermont, near Burlington, to be Mentored as a Water Pourer for sweat lodges several times a year - Solstice and Equinox sweats.

Today I found the box I will send. So, this was on my mind.

Hope you find it helpful and certainly hope you're share it with your teens and their friends!

Cheers,

Craig

to see original post and all my social media links, visit: www.enlightenedchild.com

SHOULD Your Child Be Working From a Checklist?

Making the "checklist" process conscious has a lot of value. It's a life-skill that is never really taught, unless by a mentor who either discovered it or learned it from his own mentor. Most people are not proficient at it, and it's like playing an instrument, learning a language - you have to practice for years.

So, here's this insight:

Teach your child to consciously develop mental checklists so they know how to make and improve checklists in their minds. (Hint: put the steps on paper and run through them while revising, then memorize/habituate the new routine.)

I like to use my hand as a counting tool. I think 3 things are manageable for a young child, so I'll put up my fist and stick out my pinky and call that the step where we do what Corrina wants to do. Then I'll stick out my thumb and have that be the next step I want her to take. Usually it's something simple just to get her on track and feeling accomplished. So, when she was 4-5 it was taking our shoes off when we get in the house and putting them away properly. Something consistent that she could rely on. Something familiar to reduce anxiety and build good habits around the house or whatever teaching environment. (Which I learned from Montessori Primary - Practical Life skills.)


So the conversation would go something like this:

Corrina: Dad can we wrestle when we get home?

Dad: Absolutely. What has to happen before we can wrestle?

Corrina: Ummmm...

Dad: Okay when we get home what's the first thing we always do?

Corrina: Put away shoes!??

Dad: okay and what has to happen after we put away our shoes, before we can wrestle?

Corrina: eat dinner!

Dad: What else?

Corrina: what else?

Dad: Do the dishes...

Corrina: Brush Teeth!

Dad: Bingo!

So, then whenever she gets off track, I just hold up my hand and reiterate the process. Oftentimes, simply holding up the fingers of the items we've completed will jar her memory of the next thing we gotta check off the checklist.

As she got older and was excited to learn how to write we would make checklists on notecards. Now, I was experimenting with notecards in my business, and she saw me using them on a daily basis. It intrigued her, so we made lists for ourselves during Daddy-Daughter time.

She now knows how to use them. Even though we've gone back to the ever-convenient hand for tracking what we gotta do, she has worked with the process on paper and it is like the rings of a tree as she develops that patterning will resonate out and shape her future experience. When she is older, I expect we will revisit this, and it will not be totally foreign. Something inside her will resonate with the principles, and respond to another lesson around upgrading her checklists - both mentally and on paper.

Making checklists is something we all do anyway. They are powerful scripts running in our lives that we would do well to master. Helping our children master these scripts by teaching them how to write and improve them in their own minds feels almost like a moral obligation to me.

What do you think?

Cheers,

Craig

to see original post and all my social media links, visit: www.enlightenedchild.com

Does Your Child Work From a Checklist?

Pilots work from a checklist. There's a LOT to remember. Any one thing forgotten could cost lives and fortunes. Firemen, doctors, attorneys, great salesmen, even artists and dancers if you look closely enough... they all use checklists. True, some of them aren't on paper, in binders called Operating Manuals. Precisely my point...

We all do it, actually. We get up in the morning and we run our routine. When we go to take our shower we have a little routine that we run. Firs this, then this, then this... oh I better trim these... we are running through a mental checklist.

When I got up to leave the park yesterday my mind did a quick scan: keys, cash, cell phone and anything... anything... oh, yeah - sunglasses that I left in the grass!!! (That's actually what prompted today's post.)

What I was suddenly conscious of (though I've studied this application in personal and professional development for years) was the UN-consciuos process, or "checklist," that my mind went through to take care of me. I can think of LOTS of times in my life when I haven't had good checklists, and I forgot things... like deodorant ;-p

So, here's the insight:

If your child is developing checklists unconsciously, help make them conscious. I like to ask Corrina after she enthusiastically asks me to move on to the next activity, "What's gotta get done before we can do that?"

This puts her in a helpful, receptive state and she begins to seek answers to the question in her mind. She knows she can't proceed until certain things are complete, and she's apt to lay a shoulder in if she can help speed things along. This is a great parenting device, and it gets her thinking in checklists.

So, the next step is to make that checklist process conscious. I'll discuss that in my next post.

Cheers,

Craig

to see original post and all my social media links, visit: www.enlightenedchild.com

What is Friendship?

Normally, I'd go straight to Dictionary.com and settle this straight away. Whatever prompted me to write about this is also prompting me to come up with my own definitions first. I think that's a sound plan, so let's proceed ;-]

Friendship is one of those maleable terms. It means a lot of different things to a lot of different people and tends to mean different things at different times.

The simplest definition I can come up with is simply: affinity, liking

Friendship is mutual liking. It's feeling connected on some level and desiring good relations with another.

Certainly things only get more complex from there, but as a basic definition, that satisfies me.

What sort of complex manipulations we pull on ourselves and one another. The other day I saw two three-year-olds playing and getting acquainted. Maybe it was their astrology, or mutual cute-ness, or proximity and gender, or maybe that's just 3-year olds for ya... but they engaged in mutual liking of the purest form.

What happens to us as we get older that causes us to ply our friendships with emotional and psychological posturing in order to get our way? Is communication that difficult?

Being in touch with my heart and speaking congruently with its purity is one of my highest life aspirations.

In this regard, I'm pray that I end up learning more from my daughter than she from me.

Cheers,

Craig

to see original post and all my social media links, visit: www.enlightenedchild.com

How To Get Your Child Thinking Entrepreneurially...

I think a lot of parents, especially those who had it rough growing up, tend to try to make life easier on their kids.

To a certain degree this makes sense. On the other side of the scale, what's wrong with teaching kids about the 1st Noble Truth: Life is Suffering. We can't always get what we want, and if we are conditioned as children (as we almost all are) to become attached to the outcome we desire, it's only going to set us up for frustration and failure in the end. Teaching kids that they can always get what they want - crying or otherwise - is a recipe for disaster as they grow up. Better to suffer and understand the nature of suffering by adulthood than to grow up sheltered and then be hit by reality after school.

What about teaching kids a work ethic? I mean, I know there's a lot of advice about allowance and I admit I haven't read all the research. I've been told kids should get a certain amount of money regardless of chores. The thinking goes: Kids need to learn how to spend money... or something to that effect.

I take a very different approach. To me, money has to be a reflection of what my child has done to consciously go out and obtain money. Washing the dishes, sweeping the floor... these are just part of being on the team. Corrina likes to eat, she likes a roof over her head... there's nothing wrong with chipping in a little with the mealtime chores, and making her bed. I don't get paid to feed myself and take care of my kid. Maybe people on welfare do. Maybe that's a welfare mentality - that someone should provide for me simply because I'm breathing and taking up space. Not my kid.

She used to blog every week - she would listen to something by Jim Rohn or Brian Tracy and then blog about the simple idea or Principle and translate it into kid-speak (www.markiding.com). When she felt like stopping I agreed because, as far as I know, every labor contract in America is "at will" so there's no use in forcing her to do something she doesn't want to do. It's not realistic - it's not preparing her for life in capitalist America.

(Whether the state becomes fascist in her life-time remains to be seen - so we'll prepare her for the best...)

Of course, she does not earn her allowance either. Her mom wants to waffle. She wants me to just give her the money anyway. I refuse. She may give Corrina money - and I feel that would be a mistake, but I also intuit that Corrina will start to se the contrast in philosophies and eventually make the right choice.

As for working kids too hard and not letting them play and be kids... well, for thousands and thousands of years kids grew up milking cows and tilling soil and getting eggs from the hen house before the crack of dawn. There was no Sponge-Bob, there was no Cartoon Network or Doritos or Pop-Tarts.

To me, it's red flag when parents are losing the Humanity of their children for the convenience of television and snack foods. Our bodies are wired up the same way they were for millenia before these recent products became available.

So, toss out the kiddie-crack and give your kid a broom and then when they come begging for a quarter tell them it's part of being on the team, and they'll lend a hand if they want to be fed tonight (feed them vegetables and whole foods)... then kick them outside to play in the sun and tell them not to ask for money until they come up with something over and above the basic chores they should be doing anyway. Reading a book is good - if it's a challenging book and maybe if they write a book report. Washing the car, completing some additional math or grammar equations... anything more than they are expected to do. Anything to get them thinking entrepreneurially - looking for opportunities to serve and contribute more than they are asked.

As Zig Ziglar says - there are no traffic jams on the extra mile.

As always - love to hear your feedback!


Cheers,

Craig

to see original post and all my social media links, visit: www.enlightenedchild.com

Why Follow Through On Committments is Important...

When we were kids, a lot of times we got roped into doing things we didn't want to do. As we got older, more and more choice became our own.

In my late teens I started to notice a pattern. I learned most when I followed through on commitments. If and especially when I didn't feel like doing something, that's when I learned the most.

Learning how to only make commitments that I know I will follow through on has been a big part of the learning. Renegotiating agreements works under certain circumstances, but for the most part, I do my best to keep my word and do what I said I would. Somewhere along the way, objectives can be tweaked and course corrected... the original intent is always to see the path through.

One of the things that bums me out the most is when someone else does not keep a commitment with me. It's never the end of the world, but it really leaves a wound when someone no-shows or falls short.

I do it to. And to the best of my ability I am aware of when I miss my commitments. At that point I do whatever is necessary to be accountable for the commitment and any make-up needed to get back into harmony with those I let down.

It's not a perfect science, but it's kept me from amassing and carrying around massive amounts of guilt and shame. It's also something I practice with my daughter. She's a very sensitive human being. When I mess up I feel privileged that she's willing and able to forgive me and trust me again. Lord knows how many relationships are marred for life by parents who have yet to learn the skills of accountability and make-up.

What do you do when you break a commitment?

What do you do when you break a commitment with your child?

Have you forgiven your parents, et al, for any shortcomings they have demonstrated here?

Cheers,

Craig

to see original post and all my social media links, visit: www.enlightenedchild.com

Are You a Government-Issue Parent?

What are the attributes of an exceptional parent?

A few big obvious areas to begin our exploration would be:

1.) Moral and heart-connected relations.
2.) Insightful about the child's development needs.
3.) Grounded in the present socio-economic realities affecting freedom and success.

Most parents, the standard, government-issue type, will abdicate the majority of these functions to the State and Schooling system, the Church, or the kids on the corner and whoever they are influenced by.

The State is so far out of touch with your child's individual developmental needs that to trust the schooling system with the soul of your child is like trusting your lamb to a pack of hyenas. That's not to say lessons can't be learned in schooling systems. Just relative to what your child is capable of, it seems a tragedy to allow a brilliant mind to be dumbed down by an insidious process of socialization that itself is no longer grounded in present socio-economic reality.

In the 21st Century, assembly line work is no longer the primary occupation of school graduates. The modern schooling system is a muddled adaptation of an outmoded industrial revolution era system that taught reading, writing, 'rithmetic. What our kids need is a way to clearly translate ideas and connections into profits.

An exceptional parent is going to do what it takes to get their child the true education required to thrive in the world ahead.

"...your old road is rapidly aging. Get out of the new one if you can't lend a hand, for the times they are a changing."

So how do we give our kids a 21st Century Education?

Or are you one of those "government-issue parents" too?

Cheers,

Craig

to see original post and all my social media links, visit: www.enlightenedchild.com

Who's Responsibility Is It Anyway?

Yesterday I posted about the before and after of modern schooling systems. Before schooling, we are all growing at a staggering rate. After schooling, most humans are stuck in their identity of who they are, what they know, how they get by, who they'll be friends with, etc...

Is it nature or nurture? Do our neurons stop developing through the school-age period, and we're simply DONE at age 18 o3 22? Or does the schooling system take it out of us and leave us a shell of the curious, creative soul we were born to be?

I'm sure there's studies and arguments on both sides. This is a fun, light-hearted blog, so I'm not going to get into it.

What I want to consider tho, is what an educational system might be like that fully embraced curiosity, creativity, questions and exploration.

Do you think an adult who was socialized to see failure as growth, change as life and questions as the keys to the kingdom would allow him or herself to be locked into a frustrating job with a mountain of debt and a cocktail of mood altering prescriptions to numb the soul and tolerate the madness of our modern social systems?

I hope not.

Even a slightly inquisitive mind with enough experiences playing sports or music will know that practice is the key to mastery. What if that inquisitive mind turned itself on solving the problems we really face, not just the problems posed to us by big media and a morally absurd social norm that allows us to jet around sipping our collective lattes in our sweat-shop clothes and disposable lifestyles like we're more important than the 200-300,000 starving and impoverished laborers (per each of us) that have been shafted into making this possible?

What if we simply raised our kids to ask bigger, more important questions?

What if we gave them tools and introduced them to teachers or mentors who could help them answer those questions?

What if a generation of young adults emerged like a force of nature and swiftly implemented new solutions to problems that, as Einstein warned us, could not be solved at the level we were at when we created them?

Because we can't solve war with bombs.

And we can't solve the schooling system problems with teachers and administrators who are a product of that schooling system.

I'd love to hear what you're personally doing to take your child's education into your own hands.

Cheers,

Craig

to see original post and all my social media links, visit: www.enlightenedchild.com

Where I'm Goin Today...

In a half hour I leave for Boulder, CO to kick off a 108 day Men's Challenge that will focus on Health, Consciousness, Income, Relationships and some other cool stuff that I don't even know about yet.

I'm looking forward to having both a coach and a cohort of men to take this journey with. It was originally going to be a year - and I was all in. 108 days is a long time. There's a lot of space to cover in a field of time that large.

Making the process conscious by kicking things off with a weekend intensive, then weekly group calls, and some coaching calls sprinkled in... should be a fantastic learning vehicle and accountability support for taking my life to the next level in all 4 of the above areas.

To me, life would be a lot simpler if we just contextualized our education and socialization process around mastering these 4 areas of life - health, wealth, relationships and vision.

Art, Morals, Science...

Why does it have to be more complicated and fragmented than that?

Having a mentor that can help a child discover the truth, beauty and goodness in each area of life and a cohort of peers to share and feedback the experience with is such a powerful model for learning. Adventure, experience, mind-blowing times for every age and interest...

That's a vision I'd like to see manifested.

That's why I'm going to the Revolutionary Man: 108 Day Challenge. http://www.revolutionaryman.com/contest.html

I'll keep you posted ;-)

Cheers,

Craig

to see original post and all my social media links, visit: www.enlightenedchild.com

How Do You Define Genius?

Have you ever thought about it?

What really is a genius, or "genius" itself?

Google it, you get a Wikipedia entry at the top that says:

A genius is an individual who successfully applies a previously unknown technique in the production of a work of art, science, or calculation, or who masters and personalizes a known technique. A genius typically possesses great intelligence or remarkable abilities in a specific subject, or shows an exceptional natural capacity of intellect and/or ability, especially in the production of creative and original work, something that has never been seen or evaluated previously. Traits often associated with genius include strong individuality, imagination, uniqueness, and innovative drive[citation needed].

The term may be applied to someone who is considered gifted in many subjects[1] or in one subject.

Although the term "genius" is sometimes used to denote the possession of a superior talent in any field, e.g. a particular sport or statesmanship, it has traditionally been understood to denote an exceptional natural capacity of intellect and creative originality in areas of art, literature, philosophy, music, language, science and mathematics.

Which makes good sense.

A dear friend of mine once defined a genius as, "someone who knows what they don't know."

How could you know something you don't know?

Look more closely at the grammar: Knows what they don't know. They can say, without feeling inadequate, that they do not know something. they are self-aware enough to honestly appraise their situation and admit to themselves, or others, that they are ignorant on the details of some categorical subject matter. They don't throw out some "intuitive" guess, or gloss over it in their own minds, operating semi-consciously on erroneous assumptions.

So, by that definition, a genius is someone who questions assumptions, norms and mores.

I'm not saying I'm a genius because I question the government, the FDA, the schooling system, etc... Though I do claim there is a correlation between genius and asking the big questions in life.

So, maybe a genius is someone who asks good questions, and doesn't seek to resolve complex conundrums, but tolerates the ambiguity and paradox long enough to open their mind to something profound and transcendent, embracing the light of experience and a new perception not previous available at the level of thinking that the question was asked at.

What do you think defines genius?

Cheers,

Craig

to see original post and all my social media links, visit: www.enlightenedchild.com

What Happens When We Teach Kids to "Know Thyself"?

Know Thyself.

It’s the simplest, most fundamental admonition of all personal growth and power.

Yet, it’s the least taught, least experienced, least discussed topic in any curriculum.

To Educate means to draw forth from within. To me, this is the verb form of “coming to know thyself” since what you find when you sit quietly and look deeply within is that your True Self is the God you have been looking for. To draw this Self-awareness to the fore of consciousness is the process of education that Enlightened Child proposes.

Why not?

I mean, if it’s true what all the seekers and gurus say… why not give every kid a fighting chance to realize their life’s purpose and travel the world sharing spiritual knowledge grounded in the sagacity of entrepreneurial leadership and classical wisdom.

Can you think of anything better to raise kids to realize?

I mean, besides a 9-5er with a good company and a mountain of debt…

Think about it. Would you need all that if you truly “Knew Yourself”?

Let’s do what’s never been done. Let’s raise kids to Wake Up to their true identities.

Who’s with me?

Cheers,

Craig

to see original post and all my social media links, visit: www.enlightenedchild.com

What is Strengths-Based Learning?

Don't look at me like I'm supposed to know.

I just think it's interesting how our schooling system prepares kids for neither the skills they need to survive as an organism, nor the skills they need to survive in the 21st Century.

The schooling system is an antiquated relic of what our economy used to be based on. With a knowledge-, trust- or integrity-based economy, the rules are all different. Kids are gonna need a different set of skills than the ones they are being taught in school.

Marcus Buckingham worked with the Gallup Poll surveying achievement based on strengths assessments that revealed the most successful people focus on what they are best at, and essentially outsource or delegate the rest. This, in contrast, to struggling with shortcomings and working on improving areas of weakness. It's the simple understanding that your best salespeople shouldn't be doing admin work, or anything else but selling. Most suck at admin work. Everyone is served better if the salesman can just do what he's best at, and someone else who rocks out the admin can support the sales process. The salesman will get a lot farther investing time and money improving his sales ability than investing the same time and money improving his administrative abilities.

What Buckingham determined is that, to be our best selves in this life time, we need to determine (as Jim Collins would say in Good to Great) what can we each be the best in the world at? What are we passionate about? What adds value to the marketplace?

The confluence of these three things is what makes a person or an enterprise successful. It would make sense that we begin with this end in mind, since, afterall, we say we want the best for our kids. We want them to be viable in the marketplace so they can have things in their lives that make them comfortable and happy. A good income doing something they enjoy, abundant health for them and their family, great connections and a sense of compassion for the suffering we are fortunate enough to transcend as a result of our education.

So, Strengths-Based Learning would be something along the lines of:

Drawing forth the latent talents and interests the child carries within his DNA. Mentoring those abilities, and aligning the learners with each other based on strengths and needs compatibilities. Sending the team on a mission to fulfill their souls' purposes.

Or something to that effect.

Got anything to add or amend?

Cheers,

Craig

to see original post and all my social media links, visit: www.enlightenedchild.com

What Do Children Need?

It's interesting to ask such a simple question.

Sort of like breathing... we just assume we know, so we seldom ask.

Do you feel like you know what children need? What is that understanding based on?

Like rings of a tree, we all carry our "inner child" around inside of us and are influenced by the same needs we had decades ago. Operating under the surface of our lives, we all share a common need for survival and connection. Yet, adults have a distinct advantage in getting those needs met. We can work and drive and facilitate the meeting of our own needs.

Maybe what children need is to be empowered to get their own needs met. Not the needs we think they have, but the needs they genuinely have.

How do we know what children need?

Ask them?

Observe them?

Study about them?

All of the above. Be curious. Practice beginner's mind. Follow the child.

Somehow, connecting with your child's true needs satisfies the needs of your own inner child.

It's a powerful practice.

Cheers,

Craig

What's Most Important to Learn About?

So, if children are learners by nature, and they can learn anything they are presented with, make it an innate part of their soul and utilize the language and meaning to thrive in the world, then what are the best courses to teach a child for success in the 21st Century?

What's most important to learn about?

Start with the "Big 3" - Art, Morals, Science and all the variegated disciplines therein.

These types of Maps, or Meta-Languages, help orient the child in the world and organize the child's mind around principles. Principles that are deep, perennial and universal.

Enlightened Child is based on the aggregation of 12 such Maps or Models. They include exotic and fascinating personality and personal development Meta-Languages like the Enneagram. They include old favorites like the Yin-Yang and Zodiac. From these Maps, a child can begin to explore and eventually seek the treasure laying within their unique soul's purpose.

From this foundation, with a clear compass of purpose, the child can grow up to learn and master income generating process based on sales and marketing principles. These are like the complex machines made from simple machines of the first 12 Enlightened Child Maps.

We look at Success in the 21st Century very simply: Health, Wealth & Connection.

The truth is, if children are going to learn these things they are going to have to learn them from true Experts on the matter the same way we pay thousands of dollars for a 2-3 day seminar. We go to learn the material and be around an Expert. Why should children be any different?

Cheers,

Craig