I think a lot of parents, especially those who had it rough growing up, tend to try to make life easier on their kids.
To a certain degree this makes sense. On the other side of the scale, what's wrong with teaching kids about the 1st Noble Truth: Life is Suffering. We can't always get what we want, and if we are conditioned as children (as we almost all are) to become attached to the outcome we desire, it's only going to set us up for frustration and failure in the end. Teaching kids that they can always get what they want - crying or otherwise - is a recipe for disaster as they grow up. Better to suffer and understand the nature of suffering by adulthood than to grow up sheltered and then be hit by reality after school.
What about teaching kids a work ethic? I mean, I know there's a lot of advice about allowance and I admit I haven't read all the research. I've been told kids should get a certain amount of money regardless of chores. The thinking goes: Kids need to learn how to spend money... or something to that effect.
I take a very different approach. To me, money has to be a reflection of what my child has done to consciously go out and obtain money. Washing the dishes, sweeping the floor... these are just part of being on the team. Corrina likes to eat, she likes a roof over her head... there's nothing wrong with chipping in a little with the mealtime chores, and making her bed. I don't get paid to feed myself and take care of my kid. Maybe people on welfare do. Maybe that's a welfare mentality - that someone should provide for me simply because I'm breathing and taking up space. Not my kid.
She used to blog every week - she would listen to something by Jim Rohn or Brian Tracy and then blog about the simple idea or Principle and translate it into kid-speak (www.markiding.com). When she felt like stopping I agreed because, as far as I know, every labor contract in America is "at will" so there's no use in forcing her to do something she doesn't want to do. It's not realistic - it's not preparing her for life in capitalist America.
(Whether the state becomes fascist in her life-time remains to be seen - so we'll prepare her for the best...)
Of course, she does not earn her allowance either. Her mom wants to waffle. She wants me to just give her the money anyway. I refuse. She may give Corrina money - and I feel that would be a mistake, but I also intuit that Corrina will start to se the contrast in philosophies and eventually make the right choice.
As for working kids too hard and not letting them play and be kids... well, for thousands and thousands of years kids grew up milking cows and tilling soil and getting eggs from the hen house before the crack of dawn. There was no Sponge-Bob, there was no Cartoon Network or Doritos or Pop-Tarts.
To me, it's red flag when parents are losing the Humanity of their children for the convenience of television and snack foods. Our bodies are wired up the same way they were for millenia before these recent products became available.
So, toss out the kiddie-crack and give your kid a broom and then when they come begging for a quarter tell them it's part of being on the team, and they'll lend a hand if they want to be fed tonight (feed them vegetables and whole foods)... then kick them outside to play in the sun and tell them not to ask for money until they come up with something over and above the basic chores they should be doing anyway. Reading a book is good - if it's a challenging book and maybe if they write a book report. Washing the car, completing some additional math or grammar equations... anything more than they are expected to do. Anything to get them thinking entrepreneurially - looking for opportunities to serve and contribute more than they are asked.
As Zig Ziglar says - there are no traffic jams on the extra mile.
As always - love to hear your feedback!
Cheers,
Craig
to see original post and all my social media links, visit: www.enlightenedchild.com
Showing posts with label History. Show all posts
Showing posts with label History. Show all posts
Have You Seen the Enlightened Child Mandala?
When Corrina was born Jen's uncle gave us a family ToyBox, which I promptly turned into a canvas, adding the elements of astrology, the yin-yang and other esoteric symbols. Four years later, it looked like this:
Corrina just turned 8 and I am preparing to launch the whole "Enlightened Child Philosophy of Education" this year.
A big part of launching the philosophy is reacquainting myself with the tools and elements of the curriculum that I compiled in the original birthing of the ToyBox Mandala.
If you can't see it, the Mandala showcases esoteric representations for each number 1 through 12.
Recently, after cleaning the Yoga studio at the Zen Center, I found some old display panels that I thought to myself, "These would make a great canvas!"
To follow the saga of the Enlightened Child Mandala, check out my flickr site.
I'll post pics here from time to time as well. Or check back: flickr site.
Looking forward to hearing from you about what you're learning, or what you can teach about each aspect of the Mandala!
Cheers,
Craig
to see original post and all my social media links, visit: www.enlightenedchild.com
Corrina just turned 8 and I am preparing to launch the whole "Enlightened Child Philosophy of Education" this year.
A big part of launching the philosophy is reacquainting myself with the tools and elements of the curriculum that I compiled in the original birthing of the ToyBox Mandala.
If you can't see it, the Mandala showcases esoteric representations for each number 1 through 12.
Recently, after cleaning the Yoga studio at the Zen Center, I found some old display panels that I thought to myself, "These would make a great canvas!"
To follow the saga of the Enlightened Child Mandala, check out my flickr site.
I'll post pics here from time to time as well. Or check back: flickr site.
Looking forward to hearing from you about what you're learning, or what you can teach about each aspect of the Mandala!
Cheers,
Craig
to see original post and all my social media links, visit: www.enlightenedchild.com
Wanna Know What I Got from My Weekend in Boulder?
This weekend I met 9 other men at the Boulder Integral Center for an intense 2 days of men's work.
The biggest thing I got from the other men was feedback about how I show up in the world and how I'm received.
Suffice to say, the second day I laid off the caffeine and was able to really drop into my feeling-sense rather than going a million-miles-a-minute with my mind.
The feedback I got on the second day was so consistent and direct. It was challenging to hear, sure, but better than not hearing it... and through the process of asking each man what he needed from me in order to feel connected with me and to trust me, I heard reverberations of a lot of other feedback I've received in my life, though far less directly than these 9 other men were able to offer it to me.
What I'm faced with now is a life-challenge. How can I live in my authentic, emotionally grounded self?
Living in my mind is so comfortable (as it is for the majority of men I've met over the years I've been involved in men's work). Feeling into my heart, my gut, my 'nads... it's a real challenge and requires a tremendous amount of conscious awareness to not only catch myself escaping into my rationality, but to release the need to "know" something and just be in my fear, my grief, my uncertainty.
While this is a major piece of work that I will continuously revisit over my lifetime, I want to offer a question more related to the Enlightened Child theme of this blog...
How can we raise our boys into powerful, heart-connected men with the courage to step into (and through) fear, grief, anger, shame... even joy (yes, it's easy to avoid or become attached to feeling anything, including joy) so that the world is served by their mature leadership, rather than the tyranny of adolescent manipulations we all develop in our youth to keep our self-sense "safe"?
One such organization I know of that is taking on the work of initiating young men into sacred masculine consciousness is Boys to Men. Here's the trailer of a great movie that relates the power of the modern initiation experience: Journeyman. I hope you'll check it out - and share this with others you know who are raising or responsible for boys (and girls).
If you know of any other resources, please feel free to share them!
Cheers,
Craig
to see original post and all my social media links, visit: www.enlightenedchild.com
The biggest thing I got from the other men was feedback about how I show up in the world and how I'm received.
Suffice to say, the second day I laid off the caffeine and was able to really drop into my feeling-sense rather than going a million-miles-a-minute with my mind.
The feedback I got on the second day was so consistent and direct. It was challenging to hear, sure, but better than not hearing it... and through the process of asking each man what he needed from me in order to feel connected with me and to trust me, I heard reverberations of a lot of other feedback I've received in my life, though far less directly than these 9 other men were able to offer it to me.
What I'm faced with now is a life-challenge. How can I live in my authentic, emotionally grounded self?
Living in my mind is so comfortable (as it is for the majority of men I've met over the years I've been involved in men's work). Feeling into my heart, my gut, my 'nads... it's a real challenge and requires a tremendous amount of conscious awareness to not only catch myself escaping into my rationality, but to release the need to "know" something and just be in my fear, my grief, my uncertainty.
While this is a major piece of work that I will continuously revisit over my lifetime, I want to offer a question more related to the Enlightened Child theme of this blog...
How can we raise our boys into powerful, heart-connected men with the courage to step into (and through) fear, grief, anger, shame... even joy (yes, it's easy to avoid or become attached to feeling anything, including joy) so that the world is served by their mature leadership, rather than the tyranny of adolescent manipulations we all develop in our youth to keep our self-sense "safe"?
One such organization I know of that is taking on the work of initiating young men into sacred masculine consciousness is Boys to Men. Here's the trailer of a great movie that relates the power of the modern initiation experience: Journeyman. I hope you'll check it out - and share this with others you know who are raising or responsible for boys (and girls).
If you know of any other resources, please feel free to share them!
Cheers,
Craig
to see original post and all my social media links, visit: www.enlightenedchild.com
What Happens When We Teach Kids to "Know Thyself"?
Know Thyself.
It’s the simplest, most fundamental admonition of all personal growth and power.
Yet, it’s the least taught, least experienced, least discussed topic in any curriculum.
To Educate means to draw forth from within. To me, this is the verb form of “coming to know thyself” since what you find when you sit quietly and look deeply within is that your True Self is the God you have been looking for. To draw this Self-awareness to the fore of consciousness is the process of education that Enlightened Child proposes.
Why not?
I mean, if it’s true what all the seekers and gurus say… why not give every kid a fighting chance to realize their life’s purpose and travel the world sharing spiritual knowledge grounded in the sagacity of entrepreneurial leadership and classical wisdom.
Can you think of anything better to raise kids to realize?
I mean, besides a 9-5er with a good company and a mountain of debt…
Think about it. Would you need all that if you truly “Knew Yourself”?
Let’s do what’s never been done. Let’s raise kids to Wake Up to their true identities.
Who’s with me?
Cheers,
Craig
to see original post and all my social media links, visit: www.enlightenedchild.com
It’s the simplest, most fundamental admonition of all personal growth and power.
Yet, it’s the least taught, least experienced, least discussed topic in any curriculum.
To Educate means to draw forth from within. To me, this is the verb form of “coming to know thyself” since what you find when you sit quietly and look deeply within is that your True Self is the God you have been looking for. To draw this Self-awareness to the fore of consciousness is the process of education that Enlightened Child proposes.
Why not?
I mean, if it’s true what all the seekers and gurus say… why not give every kid a fighting chance to realize their life’s purpose and travel the world sharing spiritual knowledge grounded in the sagacity of entrepreneurial leadership and classical wisdom.
Can you think of anything better to raise kids to realize?
I mean, besides a 9-5er with a good company and a mountain of debt…
Think about it. Would you need all that if you truly “Knew Yourself”?
Let’s do what’s never been done. Let’s raise kids to Wake Up to their true identities.
Who’s with me?
Cheers,
Craig
to see original post and all my social media links, visit: www.enlightenedchild.com
Are You a Responsible Parent?
Today I took Corrina to African Dance class. I like that the head instructor is a brilliant artist and Jungian analyst. She is one of the "Tribe" I've woven around Corrina to help educate her soul.
Afterward we came home to clean the kitchen. We took turns scrubbing and washing all the surfaces, and you know the drill...
She turns to me all full of attitude about why she has to do all these chores, cook lunch (eggs and beans), and blah, blah, blah. "But I don't WANNA do all this..."
Well, this set me off. I certainly don't wanna do it. But we're human beings, and we have to eat to live. Which means we have to cook. Which means we need food, money, income, etc... Which I pretty much take care of, so it's only fair that she help out in other ways.
I took the opportunity to explain how it would be irresponsible of me as her father to let her grow up playing video games instead of practicing life-skills. After all, we've invested tens-of-thousands of dollars in her education at Montessori. The first 3 years they do a LOT of table washing and cleaning up their work. There's a reason. It's important. And she can help, so she should. It's part of being on the team. Eating on a regular basis. Sleeping in a warm abode. Stuff like that.
From there we got into a discussion of children in historical contexts. I told her if she lived on a farm she'd be up before dawn milkin cows and swiping eggs from the hen house for breakfast. She'd be working HARD, and she'd be lucky to have time to play, let alone all these toys.
I try to reference other contexts so she can appreciate how good she's got it. Some day I'd like to take her to Haiti or Ghana so she sees the value of a grain of rice and a drop of clean water. This life is too precious to waste in a fantasy world fueled by media and video games. These are cool. I enjoy them too. But they don't blind me to the reality of our global situation.
Are you a responsible parent? What does this mean to you in the 21st Century?
Craig
Afterward we came home to clean the kitchen. We took turns scrubbing and washing all the surfaces, and you know the drill...
She turns to me all full of attitude about why she has to do all these chores, cook lunch (eggs and beans), and blah, blah, blah. "But I don't WANNA do all this..."
Well, this set me off. I certainly don't wanna do it. But we're human beings, and we have to eat to live. Which means we have to cook. Which means we need food, money, income, etc... Which I pretty much take care of, so it's only fair that she help out in other ways.
I took the opportunity to explain how it would be irresponsible of me as her father to let her grow up playing video games instead of practicing life-skills. After all, we've invested tens-of-thousands of dollars in her education at Montessori. The first 3 years they do a LOT of table washing and cleaning up their work. There's a reason. It's important. And she can help, so she should. It's part of being on the team. Eating on a regular basis. Sleeping in a warm abode. Stuff like that.
From there we got into a discussion of children in historical contexts. I told her if she lived on a farm she'd be up before dawn milkin cows and swiping eggs from the hen house for breakfast. She'd be working HARD, and she'd be lucky to have time to play, let alone all these toys.
I try to reference other contexts so she can appreciate how good she's got it. Some day I'd like to take her to Haiti or Ghana so she sees the value of a grain of rice and a drop of clean water. This life is too precious to waste in a fantasy world fueled by media and video games. These are cool. I enjoy them too. But they don't blind me to the reality of our global situation.
Are you a responsible parent? What does this mean to you in the 21st Century?
Craig
Why It Takes A Village...
There's a real simple reason why it takes a village to raise a child. There's probably many good reasons, actually, but I wanna focus on one.
The truth is, parents are not always the best mentors for their own children. To reiterate Kahlil Gibran:
Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.
Still, we are responsible for our children, and take that responsibility very seriously. We feed and clothe and house them. We teach and correct and model for them. Eventually we send them to school, lessons in music or sports or whatever... we try to give them advantages in life, and fulfill their souls to the best of our ability as their parents, but this is often only our best guess.
When we look at our children and see ourselves in them, are we really seeing our children at all? How do we know?
My sense is that we are "too close" to our creation. When we only see ourselves and our needs projected on the mirror of our children we lose track of the work we are supposed to be doing on our own souls, and certainly miss the mark with our children.
Traditionally, a mentor is someone who can see the child's soul in a way that parents are blind to. Mentors are also unafraid to challenge the child in ways that parents are not equipped for. Coddling retards the child's development as much as pushing the child out of the nest too soon. Children need a safe base to launch from and return to, which is what parents are best at providing. They also need a guide into the dark forest of their soul's growth - which is best provided by someone who has walked the way the child must go and can guide them there.
Think of your children's interests. Are you the best one to help them develop those interests? Let's say it's music. Even if you are a world-class musician, and your influence will certainly be felt, your children will be better served by another teacher than you because they need you to hold and comfort them. They need a teacher to push and challenge them. How can you effectively do both? It's difficult.
And what if you're NOT a world-class musician? Do you let your children's talents go to waste or do you find the best possible teacher you can for them? Naturally, you want to help your child grow in the direction of their soul's unique purpose.
Now, the truth is, there are probably a handful, if not dozens of interests in your child's curious nature that you would do well to help educate. In traditional societies you would look around the village and locate individuals with talents that could serve your child's growth, or your child would naturally gravitate towards these individuals.
Using this model, it's easy to see why it takes a village to raise each child.
What can you do this year to strengthen the village of mentors for your children? How can you ensure that they are receiving every ounce of guidance you can possibly offer them - not only through your own knowing, but through the guidance of the extended village you gather around them based on their soul's curiosity?
More on how to see your child's soul through the clutter of your own projections in the next post ;-)
Craig
The truth is, parents are not always the best mentors for their own children. To reiterate Kahlil Gibran:
Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.
Still, we are responsible for our children, and take that responsibility very seriously. We feed and clothe and house them. We teach and correct and model for them. Eventually we send them to school, lessons in music or sports or whatever... we try to give them advantages in life, and fulfill their souls to the best of our ability as their parents, but this is often only our best guess.
When we look at our children and see ourselves in them, are we really seeing our children at all? How do we know?
My sense is that we are "too close" to our creation. When we only see ourselves and our needs projected on the mirror of our children we lose track of the work we are supposed to be doing on our own souls, and certainly miss the mark with our children.
Traditionally, a mentor is someone who can see the child's soul in a way that parents are blind to. Mentors are also unafraid to challenge the child in ways that parents are not equipped for. Coddling retards the child's development as much as pushing the child out of the nest too soon. Children need a safe base to launch from and return to, which is what parents are best at providing. They also need a guide into the dark forest of their soul's growth - which is best provided by someone who has walked the way the child must go and can guide them there.
Think of your children's interests. Are you the best one to help them develop those interests? Let's say it's music. Even if you are a world-class musician, and your influence will certainly be felt, your children will be better served by another teacher than you because they need you to hold and comfort them. They need a teacher to push and challenge them. How can you effectively do both? It's difficult.
And what if you're NOT a world-class musician? Do you let your children's talents go to waste or do you find the best possible teacher you can for them? Naturally, you want to help your child grow in the direction of their soul's unique purpose.
Now, the truth is, there are probably a handful, if not dozens of interests in your child's curious nature that you would do well to help educate. In traditional societies you would look around the village and locate individuals with talents that could serve your child's growth, or your child would naturally gravitate towards these individuals.
Using this model, it's easy to see why it takes a village to raise each child.
What can you do this year to strengthen the village of mentors for your children? How can you ensure that they are receiving every ounce of guidance you can possibly offer them - not only through your own knowing, but through the guidance of the extended village you gather around them based on their soul's curiosity?
More on how to see your child's soul through the clutter of your own projections in the next post ;-)
Craig
The REAL Sociology 101
Children need to be educated about what's ACTUALLY going on in the world, both historical trends and current realities.
Hans is compiling national databases about population, GDP, infant mortality, etc... and presenting the data in fascinating, visual formats that you MUST see!!!
You can download his nifty presenations and play with them like he demonstrates in this video: www.gapminder.org
Hans is compiling national databases about population, GDP, infant mortality, etc... and presenting the data in fascinating, visual formats that you MUST see!!!
You can download his nifty presenations and play with them like he demonstrates in this video: www.gapminder.org
Fascinating Video about "Who really IS Jesus?"
I would encourage you to watch this video with an open mind. Die-hard Christians, scroll to just past minute 13:00.
History is Pop Culture
Fantastic - 30 Minute History Lesson - Hilarious, Enlightening - we are so fortunate to get access to teachers like this!
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