Why It Takes A Village...

There's a real simple reason why it takes a village to raise a child. There's probably many good reasons, actually, but I wanna focus on one.

The truth is, parents are not always the best mentors for their own children. To reiterate Kahlil Gibran:

Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

Still, we are responsible for our children, and take that responsibility very seriously. We feed and clothe and house them. We teach and correct and model for them. Eventually we send them to school, lessons in music or sports or whatever... we try to give them advantages in life, and fulfill their souls to the best of our ability as their parents, but this is often only our best guess.

When we look at our children and see ourselves in them, are we really seeing our children at all? How do we know?

My sense is that we are "too close" to our creation. When we only see ourselves and our needs projected on the mirror of our children we lose track of the work we are supposed to be doing on our own souls, and certainly miss the mark with our children.

Traditionally, a mentor is someone who can see the child's soul in a way that parents are blind to. Mentors are also unafraid to challenge the child in ways that parents are not equipped for. Coddling retards the child's development as much as pushing the child out of the nest too soon. Children need a safe base to launch from and return to, which is what parents are best at providing. They also need a guide into the dark forest of their soul's growth - which is best provided by someone who has walked the way the child must go and can guide them there.

Think of your children's interests. Are you the best one to help them develop those interests? Let's say it's music. Even if you are a world-class musician, and your influence will certainly be felt, your children will be better served by another teacher than you because they need you to hold and comfort them. They need a teacher to push and challenge them. How can you effectively do both? It's difficult.

And what if you're NOT a world-class musician? Do you let your children's talents go to waste or do you find the best possible teacher you can for them? Naturally, you want to help your child grow in the direction of their soul's unique purpose.

Now, the truth is, there are probably a handful, if not dozens of interests in your child's curious nature that you would do well to help educate. In traditional societies you would look around the village and locate individuals with talents that could serve your child's growth, or your child would naturally gravitate towards these individuals.

Using this model, it's easy to see why it takes a village to raise each child.

What can you do this year to strengthen the village of mentors for your children? How can you ensure that they are receiving every ounce of guidance you can possibly offer them - not only through your own knowing, but through the guidance of the extended village you gather around them based on their soul's curiosity?

More on how to see your child's soul through the clutter of your own projections in the next post ;-)

Craig