There's a real simple reason why it takes a village to raise a child. There's probably many good reasons, actually, but I wanna focus on one.
The truth is, parents are not always the best mentors for their own children. To reiterate Kahlil Gibran:
Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.
Still, we are responsible for our children, and take that responsibility very seriously. We feed and clothe and house them. We teach and correct and model for them. Eventually we send them to school, lessons in music or sports or whatever... we try to give them advantages in life, and fulfill their souls to the best of our ability as their parents, but this is often only our best guess.
When we look at our children and see ourselves in them, are we really seeing our children at all? How do we know?
My sense is that we are "too close" to our creation. When we only see ourselves and our needs projected on the mirror of our children we lose track of the work we are supposed to be doing on our own souls, and certainly miss the mark with our children.
Traditionally, a mentor is someone who can see the child's soul in a way that parents are blind to. Mentors are also unafraid to challenge the child in ways that parents are not equipped for. Coddling retards the child's development as much as pushing the child out of the nest too soon. Children need a safe base to launch from and return to, which is what parents are best at providing. They also need a guide into the dark forest of their soul's growth - which is best provided by someone who has walked the way the child must go and can guide them there.
Think of your children's interests. Are you the best one to help them develop those interests? Let's say it's music. Even if you are a world-class musician, and your influence will certainly be felt, your children will be better served by another teacher than you because they need you to hold and comfort them. They need a teacher to push and challenge them. How can you effectively do both? It's difficult.
And what if you're NOT a world-class musician? Do you let your children's talents go to waste or do you find the best possible teacher you can for them? Naturally, you want to help your child grow in the direction of their soul's unique purpose.
Now, the truth is, there are probably a handful, if not dozens of interests in your child's curious nature that you would do well to help educate. In traditional societies you would look around the village and locate individuals with talents that could serve your child's growth, or your child would naturally gravitate towards these individuals.
Using this model, it's easy to see why it takes a village to raise each child.
What can you do this year to strengthen the village of mentors for your children? How can you ensure that they are receiving every ounce of guidance you can possibly offer them - not only through your own knowing, but through the guidance of the extended village you gather around them based on their soul's curiosity?
More on how to see your child's soul through the clutter of your own projections in the next post ;-)
Craig
Have You Ever Felt Stranded?
If you look up the meaning of the word "Stranded" on Google Definition, the first entry says: isolated: cut off or left behind; "an isolated pawn"; "several stranded fish in a tide pool"; "travelers marooned by the blizzard"
That's about how I felt most of my life. Not because I'm adopted... though the two experiences are likely tethered in some way. The type of experience I'm talking about now is very common in modern society (vs. a more traditional or tribal society).
Think of a teenage boy, just because it's a handy example. Maybe he's 16 years old. He's probably got a lot on his mind. Sex, cars, pecking-order status, maybe his favorite music or whatever else he's passionate about.
He's probably still got a dad in the picture some way. This relationship is probably strained because the father is not totally clear on what he's doing with his own life Purpose, let alone how to initiate his boy into manhood (which ALL tribal and traditional societies do, and which our modern religious parties fail to approximate).
Even just 100 years ago, a boy of this age would be working on the farm as a grown man, perhaps with a family and farm of his own. Or he would be taking up apprenticeship in a trade, or working in a factory to garner income to establish a life for himself and his family. He sure as hell wouldn't be laying on the couch playing X-Box and feeding his munchies with Pringles and Crystal Lite.
Parents abdicate the responsibilities of socializing this boy to either the schooling system (the State) or a religious organization (the Church), or some combination thereof. At best the boy will get some specialized training through a private school or lessons with an expert in some discipline like music or sports.
As for this boy's soul... his Purpose, the reason he was born into this life... completely ignored. Everyone just assumes the boy will grow up and figure it all out. How to contribute to society, how to relate to loved ones and far ones, how to stay healthy and spread good in the world by living a well-considered life... yet these things are never directly taught. The boy assumes he's stuck with whatever he picks up through osmosis along the way, or if he transgresses too deeply, he will be reprimanded and this correction will be sufficient to keep him safe and satisfied in life.
Error.
This boy is STRANDED.
He needs mentoring.
He needs someone who can draw forth a sense of purpose in his awareness.
He needs someone to sit with him and talk about what's important to him, what he wants in life, how he's gonna get there.
He needs support and accountability and blessing.
He needs initiation and responsibility and creative challenge.
Have you ever felt stranded?
Craig
That's about how I felt most of my life. Not because I'm adopted... though the two experiences are likely tethered in some way. The type of experience I'm talking about now is very common in modern society (vs. a more traditional or tribal society).
Think of a teenage boy, just because it's a handy example. Maybe he's 16 years old. He's probably got a lot on his mind. Sex, cars, pecking-order status, maybe his favorite music or whatever else he's passionate about.
He's probably still got a dad in the picture some way. This relationship is probably strained because the father is not totally clear on what he's doing with his own life Purpose, let alone how to initiate his boy into manhood (which ALL tribal and traditional societies do, and which our modern religious parties fail to approximate).
Even just 100 years ago, a boy of this age would be working on the farm as a grown man, perhaps with a family and farm of his own. Or he would be taking up apprenticeship in a trade, or working in a factory to garner income to establish a life for himself and his family. He sure as hell wouldn't be laying on the couch playing X-Box and feeding his munchies with Pringles and Crystal Lite.
Parents abdicate the responsibilities of socializing this boy to either the schooling system (the State) or a religious organization (the Church), or some combination thereof. At best the boy will get some specialized training through a private school or lessons with an expert in some discipline like music or sports.
As for this boy's soul... his Purpose, the reason he was born into this life... completely ignored. Everyone just assumes the boy will grow up and figure it all out. How to contribute to society, how to relate to loved ones and far ones, how to stay healthy and spread good in the world by living a well-considered life... yet these things are never directly taught. The boy assumes he's stuck with whatever he picks up through osmosis along the way, or if he transgresses too deeply, he will be reprimanded and this correction will be sufficient to keep him safe and satisfied in life.
Error.
This boy is STRANDED.
He needs mentoring.
He needs someone who can draw forth a sense of purpose in his awareness.
He needs someone to sit with him and talk about what's important to him, what he wants in life, how he's gonna get there.
He needs support and accountability and blessing.
He needs initiation and responsibility and creative challenge.
Have you ever felt stranded?
Craig
What do you think about the term Self-Considered?
Self-considered.
What could this mean?
It's not self-centered. It's not self-conscious (not in the negative way, like shy).
It's not self-involved, or self-
It's more like self-aware, self-reflecting, self-assured.
To consider the self means to take ones own needs and desires into account when considering everyone elses' needs and desires to whatever extent you feel responsible for doing so.
It must be a part of character to be self-considered. It's a moral injunction - akin to Know Thyself.
To be Self-Considered means to Know Thyself amongst Others and the Environment.
To be Self-Considered is a quality of Enlightenment as it lives embodied in a Learner.
What do you think about the term Self-Considered? Is it useful as a definition?
Craig
What could this mean?
It's not self-centered. It's not self-conscious (not in the negative way, like shy).
It's not self-involved, or self-
It's more like self-aware, self-reflecting, self-assured.
To consider the self means to take ones own needs and desires into account when considering everyone elses' needs and desires to whatever extent you feel responsible for doing so.
It must be a part of character to be self-considered. It's a moral injunction - akin to Know Thyself.
To be Self-Considered means to Know Thyself amongst Others and the Environment.
To be Self-Considered is a quality of Enlightenment as it lives embodied in a Learner.
What do you think about the term Self-Considered? Is it useful as a definition?
Craig
An Open Letter to a Teenage Rockstar
then you should be a drummer in a band
that gets PAID, son
I gotta tell you kids... it's all about Marketing no matter what you do. I'm an artist at heart, and I'm only now just getting back to BEING an artist after 10 years of trying to figure out how to make a living at it.
School doesn't teach it.
Talent can't overcome it.
Until you learn how to sell yourself, you're never gonna be free. You gotta demand what you're worth, and get people to buy into you enough to pay it.
It's about self-worth. It's about doing it with class.
C
that gets PAID, son
I gotta tell you kids... it's all about Marketing no matter what you do. I'm an artist at heart, and I'm only now just getting back to BEING an artist after 10 years of trying to figure out how to make a living at it.
School doesn't teach it.
Talent can't overcome it.
Until you learn how to sell yourself, you're never gonna be free. You gotta demand what you're worth, and get people to buy into you enough to pay it.
It's about self-worth. It's about doing it with class.
C
College Kids Confront the Brutal Facts
This is great - college students collaborated on a wiki about the reality of their schooling situation.
What is Montessori Education?
Here is a great primer on Montessori for ages 3-6.
The actual Philosophy is much deeper, bordering on the mystical, but this gets you oriented with the classroom.
"Children are allowed to continue with a piece of work for as long as they desire. They choose activities that interest them and practice them until they feel a sense of Mastery. Then they move on." ~6:30
7:40 "Part of becoming Independent Learners is taking responsibility for oneself, and the classroom environment."
3:00 "As the child becomes comfortable with the basics, the materials becoming increasingly abstract and complex, helping the learner to understand first the patterns of addition, subtraction building from this foundation to the complexities of squaring and square root, cubing and cube roots."
3:40 "The materials provide a method for the students to check their own work, as well as, to visualize the problem in 3 dimensions.
What I want to study is the cutting edge human/childhood Developmental Science, Montessori and similar alternative educational philosophies, and the 12 Archetypes in the Enlightened Child book.
So I can develop materials that Leverage a child's developmental capabilities to learn Life Success Principles as enjoyably and early as possible.
The actual Philosophy is much deeper, bordering on the mystical, but this gets you oriented with the classroom.
"Children are allowed to continue with a piece of work for as long as they desire. They choose activities that interest them and practice them until they feel a sense of Mastery. Then they move on." ~6:30
7:40 "Part of becoming Independent Learners is taking responsibility for oneself, and the classroom environment."
3:00 "As the child becomes comfortable with the basics, the materials becoming increasingly abstract and complex, helping the learner to understand first the patterns of addition, subtraction building from this foundation to the complexities of squaring and square root, cubing and cube roots."
3:40 "The materials provide a method for the students to check their own work, as well as, to visualize the problem in 3 dimensions.
What I want to study is the cutting edge human/childhood Developmental Science, Montessori and similar alternative educational philosophies, and the 12 Archetypes in the Enlightened Child book.
So I can develop materials that Leverage a child's developmental capabilities to learn Life Success Principles as enjoyably and early as possible.
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