The thing about seven-year-olds is, they don't like fish, much. At least not my seven-year-old.
Before I get yammering about how many crazy dietary regimes I've endured since college, let me just say that I mostly eat fish these days, and I like it. It's protein-rich, doesn't weigh me down, and I can prepare a weeks-worth in an hour... when I was on a strict budget it kept my body fueled and I still had gas money to get to work.
Corrina hates it. She ate it for months, and even finished the bowl. She hemmed and hawed, she whined and moaned. I even got us a rotisserie chicken once, just to mix it up for her - for being such a little trooper. Because, I run my life like I'm on a ship. There's limited resources, everything serves triple-duty, or it goes over-board. By about that point, she had gotten it in her head that she's a vegetarian. Fine, then why are you still eating the crispy chicken skin? Oh - she says - I'm HALF-vegetarian.
I get it.
Efficiencies of regimentation (and a sincere belief that a father gives his child a set of clear, trustable boundaries that protect and support life) have essentially dictated my weekly schedule, including shopping and cooking. Once I worked out a diet that worked for me, I standardized on a handful of food groupings. Eventually, I refined certain recipes to the point of new-age military rations. For example:
Cold Fish Cakes
1 Bag - Frozen Salmon (skinless)
1 Bag - Frozen Tilapia
1/2 Cup - Frozen Peas
1 Cup - Rice, cooked
Oregano, Thyme, Salt
Basically I throw all the fish into a no-stick pan (even stopped using oil), cook until brown, then start hashing up the thawed filets, eventually adding the rice, peas and seasonings. I pack it into about 5 empty hummus containers and eat them throughout the week.
Did I mention Corrina hates it. Especially being a pisces... she made a flyer that says "stop ceching fish and let them have babies" after I showed her a you-tube video on over-fishing: Save Our Ocean Fish
Anyway, the other day we're at Lori's getting some Eco-Paks of whole-grain cereal - another staple she abides, though I'm sure she'd prefer Apple Jacks or Captain Crunch (hurl).
She gets snippy about the salmon "saaaaalmmmmooooooooooooonnn!!!" so I tell her to pick something out. She grabs rice pasta and we agree on a lentil-tomato package of prepared Indian food. She's stoked.
We get home and she wants to learn how to cook it. I've been teaching her how to cook things like eggs and (frozen... remember, we're on a ship) vegetables . I turn to her slowly from the fridge where I'm putting food away, and in my best Marlon Brando,
"You wanna learn how to cook? Alright, I'll teach you how to cook. I'll teach you how to cook anything you want, for the rest of your life. Would you like that?"
She nods compliantly. Mesmerized.
After a moment of letting that sink in for her, I break her trance with a flourish, dropping my tone and lowering my eyes at her with a cocky smile... "read the directions"
What are YOU gonna do in 7 years?
"Corrina, now that you're seven you have a new set of financial rights and responsibilities."
That's what I told my daughter before her birthday this year. We delineated a shift in our relationship - like no more carrying her in my arms, etc... One of the other important shifts was in her awareness of money and how it operates.
Money is an overwhelming subject. It shows up in so many forms and it's elusive in its abstractness. We have to have a grasp on the way money is used as one or more of these three forms or shapes it takes:
Money is a representation of Value when negotiating sales or evaluating a business to purchase.
Money is an organization's Fuel to reach its objectives.
Money is the Score-Card for the games you are playing in the Market. Gerber's "Quantification"
Wow! That's abstract as shit to 7 year old, let alone a 4 year old!
OMG, I have to digress and tell you this little snipit... When Corrina was 4 I was playing with her on the living room floor. Somehow we got on the topic of money and I took the opportunity to explain to her that her financial education would be shaped by these fulcrums or developmental leaps.
The First would be when she turned 7 years old. I said, "Corrina, I will pay for Everything for you until you're 7. Then, when you're seven, I'll continue to pay for your survival needs (ref: Maslow) like food, clothes, house, etc... so I'll still buy you lunch at Panera after Karate on Saturday, but you're on your own for matinees at the $2 theatre afterward. She nods. "And when you turn 14, then beyond your bedroom at home, you're on your own, kiddo."
She pauses.
She looks me in the eyes and runs to the kitchen shouting, "Mom! Guess what - dad said he'd pay for EVERYTHING 'til I turn SEVEN!!!"
And I've held to that. And she's learned a lot of great lessons.
Before she went to Milwaukee for the summer I renegotiated my agreements with Jeni so that I gave Corrina her allowance separately from what I give Jeni. Then I told Corrina she had to earn the $25/mo, and cleaning the house doesn't count. That's what we do when we're on the same team.
She had a meltdown at the Moe's burrito joint parking lot. I told her to shape up - she didn't even know what the chores were for earning her allowance. We had lunch and I explained to her:
"What motivates me to compensate you is learning. Going above and beyond "common knowledge" is an attribute that will bring you closer to what you want in life nearly 100% of the time. So I will pay you for following the principles of solid financial planning. Jim Rohn's 70/10/10/10 plan with Tithing, Saving and Investing coming off the gross. The rest I ask that you keep and accounting of how you spend it, here's how."
Now if she keeps a record at 7 I'll be shocked. But at least she's been exposed to it.
The seeds been planted. And it was planted last summer when we bought a cool Real Estate game at a garage sale. I made her keep a balance sheet and ledger for the entire game. It made it take twice as long, but she now multiplies numbers with lots of zeros behind them as easily as she does rudimentary arithmetic.
So, now that she sees how money comes and goes, we can start exploring how planning helps utilize the stream of money to get us closer to what we want in life. It's a good journey. I'm struggling with aspects of it even today - and my father is a CPA since outta college. Never once sat me down and walked me through how to keep a check book. I'm a little more proactive than that.
My aim is for Corrina to be 100% financially self sufficient by the time she can drive. So that she can tour the world and provide herself the optimal educational experience by visiting and participating in the content of the curriculum. Like how my parents took us to Boston when I was in 5th grade. I dumped tea into the harbor, saw Plymouth Rock, etc... and the timing coincided with my 5th grade text book. I would love Corrina to be able to go to Europe and visit these sites while she's learning about them.
Hell, I'd love to organize a Curriculum that patched together modules of student vacations...
Sign Me Up!
C
That's what I told my daughter before her birthday this year. We delineated a shift in our relationship - like no more carrying her in my arms, etc... One of the other important shifts was in her awareness of money and how it operates.
Money is an overwhelming subject. It shows up in so many forms and it's elusive in its abstractness. We have to have a grasp on the way money is used as one or more of these three forms or shapes it takes:
Money is a representation of Value when negotiating sales or evaluating a business to purchase.
Money is an organization's Fuel to reach its objectives.
Money is the Score-Card for the games you are playing in the Market. Gerber's "Quantification"
Wow! That's abstract as shit to 7 year old, let alone a 4 year old!
OMG, I have to digress and tell you this little snipit... When Corrina was 4 I was playing with her on the living room floor. Somehow we got on the topic of money and I took the opportunity to explain to her that her financial education would be shaped by these fulcrums or developmental leaps.
The First would be when she turned 7 years old. I said, "Corrina, I will pay for Everything for you until you're 7. Then, when you're seven, I'll continue to pay for your survival needs (ref: Maslow) like food, clothes, house, etc... so I'll still buy you lunch at Panera after Karate on Saturday, but you're on your own for matinees at the $2 theatre afterward. She nods. "And when you turn 14, then beyond your bedroom at home, you're on your own, kiddo."
She pauses.
She looks me in the eyes and runs to the kitchen shouting, "Mom! Guess what - dad said he'd pay for EVERYTHING 'til I turn SEVEN!!!"
And I've held to that. And she's learned a lot of great lessons.
Before she went to Milwaukee for the summer I renegotiated my agreements with Jeni so that I gave Corrina her allowance separately from what I give Jeni. Then I told Corrina she had to earn the $25/mo, and cleaning the house doesn't count. That's what we do when we're on the same team.
She had a meltdown at the Moe's burrito joint parking lot. I told her to shape up - she didn't even know what the chores were for earning her allowance. We had lunch and I explained to her:
"What motivates me to compensate you is learning. Going above and beyond "common knowledge" is an attribute that will bring you closer to what you want in life nearly 100% of the time. So I will pay you for following the principles of solid financial planning. Jim Rohn's 70/10/10/10 plan with Tithing, Saving and Investing coming off the gross. The rest I ask that you keep and accounting of how you spend it, here's how."
Now if she keeps a record at 7 I'll be shocked. But at least she's been exposed to it.
The seeds been planted. And it was planted last summer when we bought a cool Real Estate game at a garage sale. I made her keep a balance sheet and ledger for the entire game. It made it take twice as long, but she now multiplies numbers with lots of zeros behind them as easily as she does rudimentary arithmetic.
So, now that she sees how money comes and goes, we can start exploring how planning helps utilize the stream of money to get us closer to what we want in life. It's a good journey. I'm struggling with aspects of it even today - and my father is a CPA since outta college. Never once sat me down and walked me through how to keep a check book. I'm a little more proactive than that.
My aim is for Corrina to be 100% financially self sufficient by the time she can drive. So that she can tour the world and provide herself the optimal educational experience by visiting and participating in the content of the curriculum. Like how my parents took us to Boston when I was in 5th grade. I dumped tea into the harbor, saw Plymouth Rock, etc... and the timing coincided with my 5th grade text book. I would love Corrina to be able to go to Europe and visit these sites while she's learning about them.
Hell, I'd love to organize a Curriculum that patched together modules of student vacations...
Sign Me Up!
C
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