Who's Your Daddy?

With Father's Day rolling up this Sunday, one of my men's groups invited me to share some of the experiences I was blessed with this past weekend.

What did I experience? I "Reclaimed my Teenage Fire"... or rather discovered that I had never lost it.

It took some powerful workshop exercises led by teams of some truly incredible young men (JourneyMen) and their mentors to fully realize that truth. This post is a reflection on what I've come to understand after completing the workshop this past weekend.

The RTF training is actually a mentor training for the Boys to Men network. You can read more about the tradition of masculine initiation by clicking here.

Here's a picture of the JourneyMen...



What did I learn about myself and the world this weekend?

1.) By hearing the stories of other men and what their lives were like back in their teen years I really came to understand how hard life has been for many men. That kid who I thought was really popular, or was a real jerk to me at school, for instance, might have been living a nightmare at home. How could I have known? This weekend gave me that perspective and it was very healing for me.

2.) Being adopted is hard, but nothing compared to what some of these other men have been through with death after death in the family, the psychological fall-out of their own uninitiated fathers, the brutality, the abuse, the abandonment, the unloving, uncaring, dis-interested lack of presence... I really came to appreciate my own father with a profound depth.

3.) I realized that growing up we all feel lack of love and being seen. We all feel slighted in some way, and we all have our crosses to bear... including my own father - both my biological father, and my adoptive father. At one point I broke down in tears of gratitude for how much love I feel, that I didn't even know because I have been holding onto the grievances from childhood. Somehow I must find a way to express that to my father... that I appreciate him for everything he is, and while he's not perfect, he certainly held a lot of the cruelty in the world at bay for me. That alone is a magnificent gift, and one I can never be too grateful for.

4.) I realized what an incredible father I am for my own child. It's amazing to see how far we have come in just 3 generations. Men have really opened up in the past several decades, and the macho jerk is no longer the ideal. Tender caring and nurturing masculine energy are so much more accepted, and the young men on this weekend are an incredible example of how powerful a healthy male presence in a young man's life can be.

5.) And at the same time, I am humbled by the faults and failures I can't even see that I'm sure Corrina will have to forgive me for some day. I better start a therapy account right next to her college account. I'm sure she'll have plenty to process that I don't even realize I'm giving her cause for. Still, I resolve from all this to grow and move forward from where I am, not where I wish I could be. All I can do is be the best dad I know how with the resources available to me. It's a constant learning process.

6.) Lastly, as I mentioned, I went through a process led by an 18 year old Journeyman whose father is a dear friend of mine through MKP.

Shawn & Mike Fallon... (and Andrew Corey ;-)




Together they helped bring the Boys to Men training to Upstate, NY and the East Coast. He had me reflect on a picture of myself from a time in my younger life when I felt like I was really on top of the world. Reflect on my "fall from grace" and reclaim my teenage fire... Well, after several minutes into the process he turned to me and said, "I mean, correct me if I'm wrong here, but I just want to tell you that from my perspective, you've never lost your fire. It's burning so brightly in you... you're the kind of man I want to become!"

Well, I felt such relief and elation. I turned to him and accepted the candle that represented that fire, and I told him that I simply needed to be seen for that. It was so simple, so complete... I can't express what it did for me in words, though.

Here's the picture, and the candle...



All this I share with you a few days before Father's Day to say: Reflect on how much your father has given you IN SPITE of all he's been through. He probably had to figure it all out for himself. This type of mentoring didn't exist, and even today, many boys, men and fathers will walk the long, lonely path to their grave without the support and nurturing energy of a healthy masculine presence.

Be grateful for your father, and for any mentoring you have received. Reach out to these men, and let them know you have felt the impact of their care for you in your life. If you have the ability, let them know how you have taken their foundational presence and built upon that to be an even stronger, even more conscious man... and invite them to open up to you in a deeper way. They need you as much as you have needed them. This world is full of so much pain and suffering, when it comes down to it all we have is one another and the ability to connect through our tears, and our joy.

This Father's Day I will be reflecting on my weekend past, and finding a way to bridge the gap between my own father and me. I encourage you to do the same.

Here's a song they played on the weekend. I remember sitting in my dad's car hearing this song on the radio as a teenager and feeling not a little uncomfortable. Without weekends like this I don't know if I could allow the meaning of this song to every reach my heart. Enjoy!

Cheers,

Craig

to see original post and all my social media links, visit: www.enlightenedchild.com

Is Masculine Initiation Really Necessary?

For millions of years men have initiated boys into manhood in their early teens.

Women have a built-in initiation - menstruation is a clear demarcation of that life transition. For men, it requires a trial, a challenge that forces a young man to face something within himself and claim that sacred masculine force within. Then he can return to his village, his tribe, his mother with a new sense of identity. He has individuated, or begun the process.

We've lost that sacred ritual in our culture... I mean, what mother do you know that would willingly let her son go off in the woods to have his tooth knocked out or his face tattooed, or go alone for a week with no food or water in the wilderness... zero.

Initiation is dangerous, and it must be for it to have the psychological impact a young man requires in order to understand the sacred masculine within. It's also crucial, and the African proverb says it best, "If we don't initiate the boys, they will burn the village down.

Today, the Mankind Project initiates men who have sought out that ritual in every which way but a healthy, mature one. Prison, armed forces, gangs, drugs, and all sorts of other rights of passage have sprung up in the shadows to accommodate this genetic need in our DNA.

But there's a problem. Frederick Douglas said it best, "It's easier to raise healthy boys than to repair broken men." So, the Boys to Men initiation experience has arisen to meet that need.

If you have a son, or are an uninitiated man who is called to the sacred masculine, these organizations offer some of the most profound, modern initiation weekend trainings on the planet. They are both international organizations and well worth the investment.

If you have any interest in either of these weekends I would be more than happy to answer any questions for you.

I was initiated in MKP at age 18. Boys to Men did not exist then, though it would have been a better experience for where I was at around that age. That's why I am so stoked that we are finally giving young men their birthright and initiating them at the appropriate age, before they spend decades seeking the experience in every place but the right one - with healthy, initiated men who can guide and mentor them to their true power.

Contact me with any questions - you'll be glad you did.

Cheers,

Craig

to see original post and all my social media links, visit: www.enlightenedchild.com

Does Your Child Know Her Purpose Yet?

It's no joke - we are all born with a purpose, and the schooling system couldn't care less.

Most teachers are just grown up products of the same system and are so deep into it that most teachers either have no idea what their own true purpose in life is (I hardly believe that a teacher would tell you "my purpose is to brainwash hundreds of kids into consumer society drones") or they have no tools for consistently liberating children from this cycle of consumer socialization to a true realization of their inborn purpose. So, the cycle perpetuates itself in mass-unconsciousness.

(pardon me while I go puke out the window...)

One of the most important exercises I've ever done (and I have worked through it dozens and dozens of times over the last decade) is discovering and defining and deciding what my purpose is.

I learned it first from Michael Gerber in the E-Myth Mastery Academy - which is an entrepreneurial coaching program. He understands that, in order for a business to serve the entrepreneur's life, we must begin with what's in our heart first, then build the business around that clarity.

Michael Losier's book on the Law of Attraction walks us through a nearly identical exercise. Tony Robbins, and all the classic success gurus say pretty much the same thing. Seems there's a pattern here:

1.) Write down everything you DON'T want in your life

2.) Use that list to come up with clarity about what you DO want in your life

3.) Boil that down to the essence of who you are and what your life is all about

Why were you born?

10 words or less!

Hold this mantra as a compass. Something you never forget. If I come to your house at 3am and shake you awake and say, "WHAT'S YOUR PURPOSE?!!" you should spit it right out.

Do you have this clarity?

Well, I walked my 8 year old through this same exercise last fall and she came up with a list that's just as legit as anything an adult could conjure up. After all, it doesn't take a PhD to know what you want in life, and if you look a little deeper, to see where those wants are coming from.

Look closely at this picture, you can see her two separate columns...




What did she come up with?

"To love and take care of animals"

Simple.

What's better than that!




So, here's where it comes into play, and the reason I'm inspired to post about this. Last week she demonstrated this on a handful of occasions:

1.) She rescued a baby bird from the playground at school

2.) She rescued a guinea pig that was to be "given a shot that would make him sleep until it was time for him to die"

3.) She rescued a baby chipmunk from the clutches of her cat Stella

4.) She captured a moth and brought it home, set it free in my bedroom and pet it good night by the lamp

5.) She gingerly carried around the snails she captured by the trainyard where we find em

6.) She does research on koalas and other animals at school...

And that's just ONE WEEK!!!

I applaud her for living her purpose and it settles into her psyche that she is fundamentally good and rooted in a core purpose that serves the world and makes her feel whole and complete.

It's an incredible thing.

I highly recommend it.

If you're a teacher or a parent who would like more information on how you can help kids discover their own Purpose in life, please contact me.

After all, my purpose is: To Enlighten the World!

Cheers,

Craig

to see original post and all my social media links, visit: www.enlightenedchild.com