I think a lot of parents, especially those who had it rough growing up, tend to try to make life easier on their kids.
To a certain degree this makes sense. On the other side of the scale, what's wrong with teaching kids about the 1st Noble Truth: Life is Suffering. We can't always get what we want, and if we are conditioned as children (as we almost all are) to become attached to the outcome we desire, it's only going to set us up for frustration and failure in the end. Teaching kids that they can always get what they want - crying or otherwise - is a recipe for disaster as they grow up. Better to suffer and understand the nature of suffering by adulthood than to grow up sheltered and then be hit by reality after school.
What about teaching kids a work ethic? I mean, I know there's a lot of advice about allowance and I admit I haven't read all the research. I've been told kids should get a certain amount of money regardless of chores. The thinking goes: Kids need to learn how to spend money... or something to that effect.
I take a very different approach. To me, money has to be a reflection of what my child has done to consciously go out and obtain money. Washing the dishes, sweeping the floor... these are just part of being on the team. Corrina likes to eat, she likes a roof over her head... there's nothing wrong with chipping in a little with the mealtime chores, and making her bed. I don't get paid to feed myself and take care of my kid. Maybe people on welfare do. Maybe that's a welfare mentality - that someone should provide for me simply because I'm breathing and taking up space. Not my kid.
She used to blog every week - she would listen to something by Jim Rohn or Brian Tracy and then blog about the simple idea or Principle and translate it into kid-speak (www.markiding.com). When she felt like stopping I agreed because, as far as I know, every labor contract in America is "at will" so there's no use in forcing her to do something she doesn't want to do. It's not realistic - it's not preparing her for life in capitalist America.
(Whether the state becomes fascist in her life-time remains to be seen - so we'll prepare her for the best...)
Of course, she does not earn her allowance either. Her mom wants to waffle. She wants me to just give her the money anyway. I refuse. She may give Corrina money - and I feel that would be a mistake, but I also intuit that Corrina will start to se the contrast in philosophies and eventually make the right choice.
As for working kids too hard and not letting them play and be kids... well, for thousands and thousands of years kids grew up milking cows and tilling soil and getting eggs from the hen house before the crack of dawn. There was no Sponge-Bob, there was no Cartoon Network or Doritos or Pop-Tarts.
To me, it's red flag when parents are losing the Humanity of their children for the convenience of television and snack foods. Our bodies are wired up the same way they were for millenia before these recent products became available.
So, toss out the kiddie-crack and give your kid a broom and then when they come begging for a quarter tell them it's part of being on the team, and they'll lend a hand if they want to be fed tonight (feed them vegetables and whole foods)... then kick them outside to play in the sun and tell them not to ask for money until they come up with something over and above the basic chores they should be doing anyway. Reading a book is good - if it's a challenging book and maybe if they write a book report. Washing the car, completing some additional math or grammar equations... anything more than they are expected to do. Anything to get them thinking entrepreneurially - looking for opportunities to serve and contribute more than they are asked.
As Zig Ziglar says - there are no traffic jams on the extra mile.
As always - love to hear your feedback!
Cheers,
Craig
to see original post and all my social media links, visit: www.enlightenedchild.com
blog comments powered by Disqus
Posts
