What's Real & What's Imaginary?

What do you do with a Pisces child?

They're so deliciously dreamy, and yet, as a father I feel it's important to help my daughter make distinctions between what's really real (like objectively existent) and what's imaginary.

When she was 3, 4, 5 years old we played "Dragons" all the time. They were as real as anything in her world. 

About 6 months ago she called me up because Jeni  finally leveled with her about the tooth fairy, the Easter bunny and good old Santa Claus. She had just lost a tooth and was curious, as kids inevitably get.

I did my best to explain that when she was a little kid she believed in the dragons, but now she knows they're not real. Still, it's fun to pretend. Same with these other imaginary beings.

We talked about her little cousin who would call you a liar to your face if you told her Santa Claus isn't real. And how as she grows up she'll go through a period where she "knows" the truth, but still lets her emotional attachment to the imaginary rule her mind. And that it's totally okay.

What's important, I explained, is to "just notice" when she's believing in something imaginary, and when she's dealing with something really real.

Lately, Corrina has been telling "stories" about things that seem perfectly reasonable to a kid, and probably correlate with very vivid imagery in her incredibly imaginative Pisces mind. When I ask her if these things really happened she snaps back, "oh yeah, I saw it on YouTube," or, "oh, well my friend told me, and I trust my friends." Sometimes I get aggravated, but I know it's part of growing up.

Again, as her father, I feel responsible for helping her start to "just notice" when something is really real, and when it's part of her imagination only... or when it's a little of both. I know I was gullible to things my friends said well into high-school.

So, we talked about the difference between dragons and dogs. Between Santa and something you can take a video or picture of. And we talked about how sometimes something starts out being real, and we remember it just like we took a video of it, but then our minds start to make up things that didn't really, actually happen.

She seemed to understand. I mean, I don't want to shame her for it. It's natural. And it's also natural that she grow out of this eventually. 

The Enlightened Child piece in this is letting Corrina know that it's okay. Every kid goes through it. And that it's a process. When she was a little kid, like her cousin, she fully believed all this fantasy stuff was real. Even though I knew it wasn't I let her revel in it because I understood where she was at developmentally. And I explain that she's not ready to entirely let go of Santa Claus. Even though she knows he's not "really real" a part of her wants to go with it for a few more years.

Rather than asking her to grow up all at once, or simply waiting until she does, I'm inviting her to "just notice" what's real and what's imaginary. Planting the seed and nurturing her ability to make that distinction, so that over the next several years she will become clear on what's really real, what's just in her imagination, and how each of these is important, valuable, and useful.

She is, after all, a Pisces. Her imagination is one of her greatest strengths. So I want her to learn to use it, rather than leave it under-developed and susceptible.

I'd love to hear from you if you have any similar experiences, questions or wisdom to share.


To Your Enlightenment Experience!

Craig
Creator
EnlightenedChild.com

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